Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle

I read a quote by Mr. Abraham Lincoln that said, “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” We all know that the world doesn’t pay us for what we know but for what we do; but do we always take action? One thing that seems to separate winners from losers is that winners take action. So, are you a highly action-oriented person or do you just talk about all the things you want?

Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonalds, said, “There are three keys to success: 1. Being at the right place at the right time. 2. Knowing you are there. 3. Taking action. <- Did you catch that last one? TAKING ACTION! It doesn’t matter where you are or who you know if you don’t have enough initiative to take action!  NO one is privileged to anything in life simply because they are born or they think they deserve it.  Behind every great achievement is a story of education, training, practice, discipline, and sacrifice. You have to be willing to pay the price! So what are you waiting for? Be Willing!

FUNNY STORY:  A Story is told of a man who goes to church and prays, “God I need a break. I need to win the state lottery. I’m counting on you, God.” Having not won the lottery, the man returns to church a week later and once again prays, “God about that state lottery…I’ve been kind to my wife. I’ve given up drinking. I’ve been really good. Give me a break. Let me win the lottery.” A week later, still no richer, he returns to pray once again. “God, I don’t seem to be getting through to you on this state lottery thing. I’ve been using positive self-talk, saying affirmations, and visualizing the money. Give me a break, God. Let me win the lottery.” Suddenly the heavens open, white light and heavenly music flood into the church, and a deep voice says, “My son, give me a break! Buy a lottery ticket!”

If you don’t take action, you can't expect results!

Why did we even put a label on it?

And another one bites the dust. My girlfriend and her guy decided to become “official” but it’s funny because I am starting to realize that men and women have different opinions about what a “boyfriend/girlfriend commitment” is. She thought it meant-“I am no longer talking to any of the men I once talked to” and he thought it meant “I am still talking to every female I talked to, plus new ones; but I will just lie about it so she doesn’t find out.” Well, needless to say she found out.  As a result, she is asking herself, “How can he love me? Why did he even make a commitment in the first place?”

So why do men make the commitment if they are not ready to be committed? I think, he decides, “She is special. Something about her makes me want to brand her with my initials and let all other men know that she is mine.” As a result, she stops entertaining other men because she is in a committed, monogamous relationship. Unfortunately, like the situation above something like snooping or bad timing happens and she finds out the monogamy part of the relationship is a one-sided deal. At that point many of us females question whether he loves or cares about us at all.

I have asked several male friends the question, “Can you really care/love us if ONE of us is obviously not enough to satisfy?” Most male’s response: Doesn’t mean I don’t love you because I talk to other girls. They have nothing to do with how I feel about you. It just means that I still find other women intriguing but I find you most intriguing and that is why you have my commitment in the form of a title.

            Really?! Should we settle to be the most intriguing of all the women? Is it fair that because we get the number 1 position that we should just turn our backs until he gets bored of “Miss Entertaining for right now?” Or pretend that there is no “Miss Entertaining for right now?” Will his definition of commitment ever change to include monogamy?

MY PERSPECTIVE: Only you know the heart of the person you decide to give your heart too. No woman wants to share her man but no woman wants to give up the man who she knows is growing into a great man. Women aren’t perfect and either are men. If he loves you, he respects you, if he respects you, he NEVER lets you feel insecure in the relationship on the account of another intriguing woman. So judge his heart and judge your security in being with him, if you have an ounce of doubt about the gauge level on either, it might be time to throw the deuces.       

Feels so Good to be FREE...

Although, I never speak to my most recent ex anymore a situation happened and we corresponded a little bit. It got me to thinking how at one point I pictured spending the rest of my life with him. I was so stuck on him. Even when we weren’t together anymore I constantly held onto the “one day he will come around.” Although, I pretended I was alright that him and I weren’t together anymore, I was not letting myself get over him and it was making me miserable. Anytime, I would have the opportunity to talk to him or see him I was doing it. Whether I realized it or not, I was waiting for the day he had that “flash bulb” moment and realized he made a big mistake. Man, I never thought I could get over him.  But as time ticked and ticked, I spaced myself from him and occupied my thoughts with everything but him.

To talk to him and find that this conversation was different become an “ah ha” moment I never thought I would have. It was funny because once the conversation was over, there was no yearning in my heart or no thoughts in my mind pondering the idea of maybe we can get back together. I felt FREE! So many times when a break up is fresh, and especially when the break up is a result of him not wanting YOU anymore, it is so hard to accept the rejection and move on. We become so engulfed in the fact that “you don’t get to decide that you don’t want me anymore without my consent” that we treat getting back together like it’s the missing ingredient to creating a happy life. So my purpose of this post? WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO FINALLY FEEL FREE? My opinion:

1.    NO we cannot be friends! Ladies, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment if you think the man that you love and you can ONLY be friends. Why do this to yourselves? If you get that burning feeling in your chest thinking of him being with another female than friendship is not for you guys. Look at all your male friends (sad I have to say this but- STRICTLY male friends) and ask yourself, why do you enjoy having a male friend. My answer is- he gives me a male perspective, we have fun, I can talk to him about relationship problems, he can talk to me about his relationship problems, we give each other advice. <- Catch that. You know each other’s business and can comment because there are no ulterior motives on either parties side.

2.    He doesn’t get to have his cake and eat it too! We get used to the companionship. So we will settle for an occasional him instead of no him at all. In reality, doing this is keeping you there, letting him be a part time lover (backtracking everything you guys ever built), and lowering yourself worth. We are fabulous so if a man does not realize how rare and priceless you are he doesn’t deserve you at his convenience! YOU ARE NOT A PIECE OF RECYCABLE PLASTIC!

3.    Occupy your time. Go out! Have fun! Be crazy! Take on new projects! Volunteer! Date even if the man doesn’t have the potential for you to one day take on his last name! Improve yourself! Do everything you possibly can that makes you a better you and takes your focus off of being a couple.

Hurt takes time to heal. A cut doesn’t heal over night but it does heal. Believe me when your hurt heals and you can feel whole without a man in your life you’ll be so GLAD you got to moving along when you did! YOU’LL FEEL SO GOOD TO BE FREE!

If he doesn’t feel this way about you, then he doesn’t deserve you! LOVE this song!

Ok. I want to apologize because I have been the worst blogger PERIOD!!! There are so many things that I have wanted to post lately and haven’t! Well, IM BACK!!!

Why can't I be on you team:(

Description

I know I look like a girly girl but I am EXTREMELY competitive (I’ll race you to see who can drink their water fastest or try and bet on EVERYTHING). I played a little sports in high school and intramural stuff in college. My FAVORITE sport to play is basketball. I love it. I have not played in a LONG time (except that street ball game I had down in the park this past summer against this fat dude so that doesn’t count because he just kept boxing me out. Unfair game) so I decided that I was going to try and get on a team at the gym and play a game or two (if we win). Problem is NO one will pick me for their team! I know there is only one gym and everyone else wants to play BUT come on I can shoot better than that guy! The being picked last and not being picked up at all b/c teams are “full” (until that 6 foot 8 guy walks in and says he has next) hurt my confidence a little and had me ashamed to step on the court. I just want to let them know that I am going to be back. I am waking up early, running suicides, doing dribbling drill, and shooting until my arm falls off! I am going to show them. Next time everyone is going to be signing up to be on my team! Take that guys at LA Fitness gym! Hahahahahaha (oh, that was an evil laugh, in case you didn’t know)

Men vs. Women

Last night I had the chance to catch up with one of my favorite homeboy’s who I haven’t talked to in forever. Last time I spoke with him, he had officially got a girlfriend and was, in girls terms, “head over heels.” (we know you men would NEVER say you are head over heels for a chick.) Anyway, a part of our conversation went a little like this:

Me: So, how are you and the girlfriend?

Him: We are probably going to break up. I wanted her to come visit (they are in a long term relationship now b/c his job just relocated)for my birthday but she kept giving me the run around. Then she called last minute to ask if I was going to fly her out (after tickets jumped triple in price. I’m tired of her. I have this new girl I’m going to start talking to.

Me: New girl, already? Don’t be too sad about your still GIRLFRIEND who thinks you guys have a committed relationship (you know where if things get conflicting, you talk about it and try to resolve because you care about her)…

This got me to thinking, IT SEEMS LIKE IT IS SO MUCH EASIER FOR MEN TO MOVE ON FROM A RELATIONSHIP THAN WOMEN. Why is that? Well, I think I have an answer (my blog so my opinion)…

MEN know they have options. They look at the “feed up” point in a relationship as an opportunity to find something else that makes them happy. They realize that there is something else that makes them happy. (I am referring to cases where things just aren’t working out not because he is being a cheating dog or grass is greener guy)

WOMEN are sketchy as to whether or not we will find anyone that we will like again on the level of a relationship. We don’t know if we will meet another guy we will be attracted to like him, make us laugh like him, or someone that made us feel the way he did.

Did you notice the difference? Men see options. Men want something different than what they didn’t work out with. Women see an option. They only still see “him” and finding someone just like the “him” so they try to make it work with him until that is not an option.

The mind is such a powerful thing! If you can control your thinking and keep your mind clear you will be amazed at how clearly you view situations and how easy conclusions about situations are reached. Dating is a gamble. You either win or lose but like any Gamblers Anonymous member will tell you… You still keep playing b/c eventually you’re going to win!