Most of us reach a point in our lives where we want to settle down. A point where just having fun with someone doesn’t cut it anymore. Women who have a limited reproductive window usually reach this point before men because we want to get married and have children. Most of the time there is only one barrier to settling down- finding the person that you want to do it with! BIG BARRIER, huh? As this person is a crucial factor!
It baffles me that we know what we want from the person that we want to build a future and a family with but we waste time with people that we know are not that person. We spend a lot of time giving time to people that only have one ingredient to a complex recipe. I have been guilty of giving the most to people that can’t even call me on the telephone. Now I am not a phone person myself but I am pretty certain I can never build something with a man that doesn’t even put in the effort to communicate. So why do we continue to waste time?
Is it out of loneliness or foolery that we entertain what our gut tells us is not worth our time? Is it the fear of starting over or never finding anyone else that keeps us holding onto what doesn’t fulfill us?
None of us are psychics and it is very rare that one knows within the first date if the person they are dating is the one. That is the beauty of dating. Attraction begins the process of wanting to know more about a person. Dating allows us to know more about the person and if we continue to like what we learn about the person we choose to begin a relationship and start to build toward a future. If not, we maybe gain a friend along the way.ßSounds easy.
So where does the wasting time come into this perfect dating scenario? (1) We are only attracted. We begin to get to know the person and the only thing interesting is how sexy their lips look when they move or how great they look without a shirt on. We know we could never be mentally or spiritually sustained by this person but we keep wasting time because something physical keeps us interested. (2) One party never has the intention of settling down, or at least not with the person they are wasting time with. I believe that most people know most of the time in the beginning whether they would ever have a relationship with the person they are spending any sort of time with. (3) We have been dating a person and it has become stagnant. The situation is not moving toward a relationship. If you’ve been dating for awhile and one party still doesn’t know if they can commit to you fact may be they will never know! And you are wasting time!
Now if you are only looking for a good time and fun then continue to have a good time and fun! If you want to settle down and complain that you are tired of being single then stop wasting your time with situations you know are not going to be life-long, for whatever reason. After all, if your attention is focused over there you might miss what is over here ready to settle down with you!
