There are so many women who express how much they want a husband, kids, a loving relationship, etc. but they are in situations with men who express (whether through actions or words) how much they will NEVER be the ones to provide these things. In response, you would think a woman in this situation would RUN from these men- You know run so fast that she never looks back, only forward into the arms of the man willing to love only her and give her those commitments that she desires. However, this is not the case. I think Jill Scott put it best in her recent interview with Sister2Sister magazine when she revealed that she used to be “dickmatized.”
Dickmatized- “Where you get caught up in the whole sexuality of your relationship but it’s not going
Anywhere….Just somebody giving you the goods but not necessarily giving you the rest-or not
Expecting the rest from them.” –Jill Scott
So, can I assume that so many of us women have been dickmatized? I know I have been there a time or two or maybe three. In hindsight, I have come to the same conclusion as Jill, “What I’ve discovered is, although it may be a lot of fun, it is also a waste of time and you might be blocking your blessing-blocking somebody who wants to be more to you than just a great time in your life.” How many of us have been taking the great time but really wanting the lifetime from a man???
Einstein defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.” Thus, it is INSANE to think that by dating the SAME type of non-committing, fun-having man that you will FINALLY get what you’ve been wanting. Instead, we have to stop fooling ourselves and just taking what is fun if we really want the WHOLE big bang. So, I leave you with a couple RED FLAGS that indicate he might only “dickmatize” you… J BEWARE!!!
· He says, “I am not looking for anything serious.”
· Never invites you to do date type of stuff. You guys just hang out, at your house, at his house after 8.
· He is ALWAYS out with the boys, playing the game, etc. months and months have went by and time with you is not a priority
· When your friends ask about him you respond, “We are just having a good time.”
· He doesn’t care if you date or see other people.
· The only time you talk is when you initiate the conversation.
· Plans are always last minute, convenient for him (I understand people are busy but people make time for what they want to make time for)
· The sex is great, the sex is great…. Wait that is all that is great.
· He doesn’t seem interested in getting to know you- your views, your interests, your likes, your personality…. You get it.
