Although, I never speak to my most recent ex anymore a situation happened and we corresponded a little bit. It got me to thinking how at one point I pictured spending the rest of my life with him. I was so stuck on him. Even when we weren’t together anymore I constantly held onto the “one day he will come around.” Although, I pretended I was alright that him and I weren’t together anymore, I was not letting myself get over him and it was making me miserable. Anytime, I would have the opportunity to talk to him or see him I was doing it. Whether I realized it or not, I was waiting for the day he had that “flash bulb” moment and realized he made a big mistake. Man, I never thought I could get over him. But as time ticked and ticked, I spaced myself from him and occupied my thoughts with everything but him.
To talk to him and find that this conversation was different become an “ah ha” moment I never thought I would have. It was funny because once the conversation was over, there was no yearning in my heart or no thoughts in my mind pondering the idea of maybe we can get back together. I felt FREE! So many times when a break up is fresh, and especially when the break up is a result of him not wanting YOU anymore, it is so hard to accept the rejection and move on. We become so engulfed in the fact that “you don’t get to decide that you don’t want me anymore without my consent” that we treat getting back together like it’s the missing ingredient to creating a happy life. So my purpose of this post? WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO FINALLY FEEL FREE? My opinion:
1. NO we cannot be friends! Ladies, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment if you think the man that you love and you can ONLY be friends. Why do this to yourselves? If you get that burning feeling in your chest thinking of him being with another female than friendship is not for you guys. Look at all your male friends (sad I have to say this but- STRICTLY male friends) and ask yourself, why do you enjoy having a male friend. My answer is- he gives me a male perspective, we have fun, I can talk to him about relationship problems, he can talk to me about his relationship problems, we give each other advice. <- Catch that. You know each other’s business and can comment because there are no ulterior motives on either parties side.
2. He doesn’t get to have his cake and eat it too! We get used to the companionship. So we will settle for an occasional him instead of no him at all. In reality, doing this is keeping you there, letting him be a part time lover (backtracking everything you guys ever built), and lowering yourself worth. We are fabulous so if a man does not realize how rare and priceless you are he doesn’t deserve you at his convenience! YOU ARE NOT A PIECE OF RECYCABLE PLASTIC!
3. Occupy your time. Go out! Have fun! Be crazy! Take on new projects! Volunteer! Date even if the man doesn’t have the potential for you to one day take on his last name! Improve yourself! Do everything you possibly can that makes you a better you and takes your focus off of being a couple.
Hurt takes time to heal. A cut doesn’t heal over night but it does heal. Believe me when your hurt heals and you can feel whole without a man in your life you’ll be so GLAD you got to moving along when you did! YOU’LL FEEL SO GOOD TO BE FREE!
