Why did we even put a label on it?

And another one bites the dust. My girlfriend and her guy decided to become “official” but it’s funny because I am starting to realize that men and women have different opinions about what a “boyfriend/girlfriend commitment” is. She thought it meant-“I am no longer talking to any of the men I once talked to” and he thought it meant “I am still talking to every female I talked to, plus new ones; but I will just lie about it so she doesn’t find out.” Well, needless to say she found out.  As a result, she is asking herself, “How can he love me? Why did he even make a commitment in the first place?”

So why do men make the commitment if they are not ready to be committed? I think, he decides, “She is special. Something about her makes me want to brand her with my initials and let all other men know that she is mine.” As a result, she stops entertaining other men because she is in a committed, monogamous relationship. Unfortunately, like the situation above something like snooping or bad timing happens and she finds out the monogamy part of the relationship is a one-sided deal. At that point many of us females question whether he loves or cares about us at all.

I have asked several male friends the question, “Can you really care/love us if ONE of us is obviously not enough to satisfy?” Most male’s response: Doesn’t mean I don’t love you because I talk to other girls. They have nothing to do with how I feel about you. It just means that I still find other women intriguing but I find you most intriguing and that is why you have my commitment in the form of a title.

            Really?! Should we settle to be the most intriguing of all the women? Is it fair that because we get the number 1 position that we should just turn our backs until he gets bored of “Miss Entertaining for right now?” Or pretend that there is no “Miss Entertaining for right now?” Will his definition of commitment ever change to include monogamy?

MY PERSPECTIVE: Only you know the heart of the person you decide to give your heart too. No woman wants to share her man but no woman wants to give up the man who she knows is growing into a great man. Women aren’t perfect and either are men. If he loves you, he respects you, if he respects you, he NEVER lets you feel insecure in the relationship on the account of another intriguing woman. So judge his heart and judge your security in being with him, if you have an ounce of doubt about the gauge level on either, it might be time to throw the deuces.