Why can't I be on you team:(

Description

I know I look like a girly girl but I am EXTREMELY competitive (I’ll race you to see who can drink their water fastest or try and bet on EVERYTHING). I played a little sports in high school and intramural stuff in college. My FAVORITE sport to play is basketball. I love it. I have not played in a LONG time (except that street ball game I had down in the park this past summer against this fat dude so that doesn’t count because he just kept boxing me out. Unfair game) so I decided that I was going to try and get on a team at the gym and play a game or two (if we win). Problem is NO one will pick me for their team! I know there is only one gym and everyone else wants to play BUT come on I can shoot better than that guy! The being picked last and not being picked up at all b/c teams are “full” (until that 6 foot 8 guy walks in and says he has next) hurt my confidence a little and had me ashamed to step on the court. I just want to let them know that I am going to be back. I am waking up early, running suicides, doing dribbling drill, and shooting until my arm falls off! I am going to show them. Next time everyone is going to be signing up to be on my team! Take that guys at LA Fitness gym! Hahahahahaha (oh, that was an evil laugh, in case you didn’t know)

Men vs. Women

Last night I had the chance to catch up with one of my favorite homeboy’s who I haven’t talked to in forever. Last time I spoke with him, he had officially got a girlfriend and was, in girls terms, “head over heels.” (we know you men would NEVER say you are head over heels for a chick.) Anyway, a part of our conversation went a little like this:

Me: So, how are you and the girlfriend?

Him: We are probably going to break up. I wanted her to come visit (they are in a long term relationship now b/c his job just relocated)for my birthday but she kept giving me the run around. Then she called last minute to ask if I was going to fly her out (after tickets jumped triple in price. I’m tired of her. I have this new girl I’m going to start talking to.

Me: New girl, already? Don’t be too sad about your still GIRLFRIEND who thinks you guys have a committed relationship (you know where if things get conflicting, you talk about it and try to resolve because you care about her)…

This got me to thinking, IT SEEMS LIKE IT IS SO MUCH EASIER FOR MEN TO MOVE ON FROM A RELATIONSHIP THAN WOMEN. Why is that? Well, I think I have an answer (my blog so my opinion)…

MEN know they have options. They look at the “feed up” point in a relationship as an opportunity to find something else that makes them happy. They realize that there is something else that makes them happy. (I am referring to cases where things just aren’t working out not because he is being a cheating dog or grass is greener guy)

WOMEN are sketchy as to whether or not we will find anyone that we will like again on the level of a relationship. We don’t know if we will meet another guy we will be attracted to like him, make us laugh like him, or someone that made us feel the way he did.

Did you notice the difference? Men see options. Men want something different than what they didn’t work out with. Women see an option. They only still see “him” and finding someone just like the “him” so they try to make it work with him until that is not an option.

The mind is such a powerful thing! If you can control your thinking and keep your mind clear you will be amazed at how clearly you view situations and how easy conclusions about situations are reached. Dating is a gamble. You either win or lose but like any Gamblers Anonymous member will tell you… You still keep playing b/c eventually you’re going to win!

“Yeah she fine but she party all the time…” – This quote could describe a section of my life. I LOVE to go out with the girls and PARTY. Some of my FAVORITE past times have happened in various clubs across the United States. I never got dressed and made up to get hollered at by the boys, I honestly loved to PARTY! However, the life of a rock-star is not all glitzy and glamorous. It is so easy to get caught up in the big city lights and in the midst of the lights you lose sight of who you are, what your morals were, and add regret to your life. 

If you are having trouble recognizing who you are or find yourself saying, “Why did I do that? I know better.” Only to do it again then it might be time to take a time-out. Separation from the crowd and time off the scene allows you to separate the “right now fun” from the “goals and ambitions I have in life.”  You can only lose yourself when you no longer become concerned with where you are or what you do.

A day in the life of an EXTRA

I have never had the aspiration to be an actress but when a friend called and asked me if I would like to be an extra on a popular television show that is coming out I agreed. I am always up for a new experience and in this chapter of figuring out what I am passionate about in life it never hurts to try new things. So, my directions indicated that I needed to be on location at 10AM. I wake up extra early and arrive ten minutes until 10AM (trying to make a great first impression b/c I am usually late!).

Initially, all the extra’s are sitting at tables with chairs until we are asked to move into a corner with folding chairs because the table and regular chairs are for the cast and crew. “So, okay cool. I know my place. Everyone has to start at the bottom.” After sitting for 3 hours FINALLY called on set. I was a little nervous but nonetheless ready to get my silent acting on. After about take 5 million and ten, I started to think I don’t believe I am passionate about this acting thing.

Bathroom time. A friend of mine and I use the bathroom by set. On our way out of the restroom and back to set we see a snack table and just wanted a couple of almonds. Right as we are about to reach for some nuts we hear someone politely say, “I believe your snack table is downstairs this is for cast and crew only.” DANG! Talk about reality check. If the camera’s and being on set for a couple of hours were starting to give me the big head that certainly brought me back to reality! LOL!

Lunch Time. Shooting stops for about half and hour so everyone can eat lunch. Which let me remind you, lunch was at 6:30 PM. The extra’s had to wait in our corner until everyone else fixed their plates first.

Still shooting. Around 1AM with no sign of someone yelling “It’s a wrap” I was still waiting for the second scene I was supposed to be in. It was at that very moment I decided acting was not my passion.

Why do I always have to eat the last 7 cookies!?

To say that I love food would be an understatement because I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVEEEE food. Food is like my back stabbing friend and frankly some of “food” I could do without in my life. Food has his/her good and bad qualities. I call the good for you food like veggies, fruit, lean meat “her” and the bad for you food like cookies, cake, bread, ice cream “him.” I have been having this love/hate relationship with food for awhile now. Why couldn’t God have blessed me to be one of those flat stomach, cute butt, nice size breast, eat whatever I want type of girls? Then “him” food and I could be best friends. Now i’ve been straddling the fence for some time now about how and when I am going to let “him” food know that we can no longer “kick it” like we have been. I said I was going to do it last year when I noticed my pudge, that used to only appear when I sat down, starting to make itself visible when I stood up. Then 6 months ago when my pudge joined forces with my whole midsection and decided to hangover my jeans, making me a “muffin top,” I knew that was the perfect moment. So today I wore a pencil skirt to work and by lunch time noticed my skin was rubbed raw on my inner thighs. The cause? My things have decided they want to fight each other by rubbing together every step I take! To add to the reality of what “him” food is doing to me I think I have booty do?! (For those of you not familiar with term it is when your stomach sticks out farther than your booty do)

SO today I decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! If I don’t like something about myself I am the only person that can change it. No more weak, vulnerable me. Today is the day that I tell “him” food we must part ways.

“You have to change your mind set about food.

It is not for your enjoyment and pleasure

Food is to nourish your body.”

Note to self: The hardest part is ALWAYS the beginning. If I don’t begin then I can never achieve the me I want to see. Below are some rules to get US  started on establishing and maintaining a healthful diet:

Rule 1: Calories count. Determine your BMR (this is the number of calories your body needs to function at the most basic level).

            Women: BMR= 655+(4.35 x weight in pounds) + (4.7 x height in inches) – (4.7 x age in years)

                Men: BMR= 66+(6.32 x weight in pounds) + (12.7 x height in inches) – (6.8 x age in years)

Rule 2: Eat every four hours (not “him” food though) and no skipping meals!

Rule 3:  No processed or Junk Foods- PERIOD.

Rule 4: Beat the bloat! Minimize sodium intake, maximize water intake.

Rule 5: No Booze (Anyone who knows me, knows I don’t particularly like rule 5!)

Rule 6: Keep a food journal (I met a man the other day that lost 60 pounds last year. I asked him how he was able to do it. He said that the food journal helped immensely, “something about holding myself accountable for everything I put into my mouth.”)

Too keep it humorous and fun check out a clip from Wanda Sykes standup where she talks about her roll name Ester! (Starts at min 3.44) HILARIOUS.

Are you perfect? I didn’t think so…

Why are people so quick to judge one another like they live a perfect life? Women and men are both guilty of picking apart someone’s decisions and collectively roasting them until they find the next victim. Am I mistaken or was Jesus Christ not the only man to walk this earth sin free? But then again he was beat and ridiculed so why should us sinners expect people to have mercy on us.

I say this to say that only YOU live your life. On judgment day no one defends the decisions you made in life except you. We are ALL guilty of talking about what he or she did and while we do so we push our own vices to the back of our minds. Why? Could it be that exposing someone else keeps the X-ray machine from radiating us? I know when I have talked about others I felt a sense of superiority over them. A feeling that I am in a sense better because I don’t do this or don’t do that when in reality I may not do the same stuff but I am certainly just as human.

One day I asked my father what he wants in life his reply, “For everyone to be happy. When everyone is happy they are not worried about what I got going on over here. They aren’t trying to take what someone else because they feel like they deserve it.” Until then I never really thought about it that way. So when I talk about others in a degrading and judgmental way can I still say that I am happy with where I am at? After all, if we were happy would we feed off of “hating” (I hate this term but it seemed to be the fitting word) on someone else’s life or would we be so blissful in our own that we wouldn’t have time to notice the flaws of another person trying to make their place in this world? JUST SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.

Decide what you want

I don’t know about you but the hardest transition I have had to go through is the one from college to the real world. It is as if I don’t even know me. I once read, “You don’t really start living until you are 40 because the first 20 years of your life someone tells you what to do and the second 20 years of your life you figure out what YOU want to do.” I am starting to see the truth in this statement. I lived a life where I did what I thought you were supposed to do and never really took the time to stop and figure out what I was passionate about. How many of you can relate?

“ The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.” – Ben Stein

I am currently reading a book entitled, “The Success Principles. How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be” (if in your mind you just thought “Oh heck no I am not reading anymore of this self-help junkies posts”… let me finish!) by Jack Canfield. The book has a straightforward, empowering way of helping you realize where you want to go in your life and exactly how to get there.

If you are like me and find yourself unsure of what you want, Jack introduces a terrific exercise that I encourage you to try:

1.       Make an “I WANT” list

One of the easiest ways to begin clarifying what you truly want is to make a list of 30 things you want to do, 30 things you want to have, and 30 things you want before you die.

2.       Make a list of 20 things you love to do, and then think of ways you can make a living doing some of those things.

For example, if you love sports, you could play, be a sportswriter, photographer, or work in sports management.

3.       Create a vision of where you want to be. To create a balanced and successful life, your vision needs to include the following seven areas: work and career, finances, recreation and free time, health and fitness, relationships, personal goals, and contribution to the larger community.

“IF YOU GET CLEAR ON THE WHAT,

THE HOW WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF”